Thursday, August 27, 2009

You leave, You lose

Even though the new site is up, I haven't reorganize this one yet, but I've decided to keep this site up so that I can post here stuff that doesn't 'fit' with the other site. I talked on the phone with a friend last night whose daughter is dating a man who has a child from a former relationship. She was telling me that he has 50% custody of his son, and still pays $450 a month in child support. She was telling me how hard a time her daughter and this man are having because he has to pay $450 a month even though he has 50/50 custody and that he needs to go to court to have it readjusted because he doesn't make enough money.
The conversation got quite a bit heated, because I don't understand how anyone, especially a mother, can think that it's fair that child support goes by 'income.' I don't care how much money he 'makes' and his 'new life' or new 'family.' Your children really deserve 100% of YOU and your income and of BOTH PARENTS. I know it's become common place for people to think that it's better for children to be raised by a single parent than in an 'unhappy' home. The problem is, people have forgotten that you have to MAKE the home a happy home.
The whining majority of the "I deserve to be happy" claimants has begun to make the human race, or at least the US population, a bunch of spoiled little brats who keep looking for the greener grass on the other side. There's no loyalty to the family and no working to make the home and the family happy. Everyone says it's ok to leave these innocent children so people can pursue their 'happiness.'
I say, 'get the Hell over it.' Grow up. Love is a DECISION. It isn't always perfect. Marriages, relationships, can go through long periods of strain, but it's the grown ups of the world who work to find the happiness again, and it's the spoiled brats who run off and then complain about their support payments being too much, and that there is nothing left for the supporter to live on.
Now, you would have to be a complete idiot to think that 50/50 joint custody arrangements weren't brought on by men as an excuse to not have to pay child support. Of course, men have stated that they want to be 'present' in their child's life, but then, inevitably, they or the lawyers will decide to use it to request that no support be paid, so it makes the argument pretty weak.
I'm sure there are men who do want to be part of their children's lives. Just as I'm sure there are women who want out of the relationship. But the current child support and custody arrangements are unfair to the children when they are based on income or based on no support at all. All this does is cost the children a quality of life in two separate homes. A lot of this is can be put on 'no fault divorce,' children born outside of the covenanat of marriage, and this ridiculous spoiled brat mentality that it's ok to leave your family because you're not happy. Get over it. Get some counseling, stay together and give your kids the benefit of two parents, two incomes, and the example of what it means to be committed to your family. And if you insist on walking out, you leave, you lose. You pay 50% of the cost of raising the child, and do 50% of the raising of the child too. Then, you're a parent.

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