Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Financial Help For Single Moms's- Thoughts on divorce

I pulled some information from a discussion board on David Iguanzo's "Childrens Rights" Facebook group, and I thought I would post them here along with some added thoughts of my own. My additions will be in bold italics...

There's quite a bit of chatter about 'equal parenting, and 'father's rights' and even 'children's rights' with respect to 'equal parenting.' Unfortunately, when men fight for 50/50 custody, they then turn to say "Well, if I have the child 50% of the time, I shouldn't have to pay support." I have quite a few issues with this, mainlybecause, now, the child(ren)'s quality of life is REDUCED in TWO homes.

Here's what I pasted:

As an alternative, public policy could be devoted to creating incentives and roles that make fathers an integral part of the post divorce lives of offspring: through nontraditional custody and visitation arrangements that ensure fathers a meaningful parenting function; through the availability of non-adversarial modes of assisted dispute resolution to negotiate difficulties in visitation, economic support, and other issues with a former spouse; through child support procedures that assist lower-income fathers with their economic obligations while providing guaranteed assistance to all children; and through divorce procedures that encourage (indeed, require) former spouses to recognize and structure their mutual post divorce commitments to offspring and to each other. Policy reform that encourages a meaningful parenting role for fathers in post divorce life provides the best hope of redefining paternity in the twenty-first century.

It is important to think clearly about value preferences in this area not only to clarify the basis for preferring one policy proposal over another, but also to foster coherent public policy concerning divorce and its consequences which is designed to advance clear public purposes

public policies that foster the expectation of a continuing relationship with a former partner after divorce might help to ensure that adults realize that they maintain continuing obligations to offspring-and sometimes to each other-despite their desire to part. Such an expectation may change the negotiations surrounding divorce and the behavior of parents following the end of the marriage, especially if it is in the context of divorce procedures that help to establish the framework for such a future relationship. Even if they might desire it, neither partner should expect to purchase autonomy after divorce at the cost of children or of the former spouse.

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