Being a single mom can get downright frustrating some days. I often find myself wondering what more 'financial help for single moms' is out there and the one I come back to the most often is child support. It's no secret on this blog that my son's father is the worst kind of deadbeat dad, he's a MILITARY Deadbeat Dad. It's not that he CAN'T help to support our boys, he just WON'T. In typical deadbeat dad fashion, the excuses range from, "I am not paying YOUR bills" to "Are they even mine?" I won't deny that it's a stab in my heart because it only goes to prove that I loved a man who obviously never loved me, but it proves that he didn't want these children to love them, that he only wanted them for whatever use they would serve him.
The battle just to have him served with the paternity suit has gone on for over a year and a half already, thanks to the incompetence of bureaucracy in the state of Florida. The attorney who works for the Child Support Enforcement Agency has absolutely no communication with me and I don't even have a 'caseworker' at CSE. Every time I call, I talk to a different person. I feel as though I've got no one in my corner, I'm battling an enemy that even my own camp (CSE is protecting) and I just feel alone in this fight.
I've found some support groups online, but they're not very busy. Probably because single mom's have to do it all, financially, emotionally, right down every bit of housework. There is no partner here to say, 'hon, you look exhausted, let me cook dinner tonight,' or to take the kids out for a few hours and give mom some much needed 'down time.' I'm constantly exhausted and the emotional fatigue of always feeling like I'm in some way 'fighting' for my family is wearing on me. Some days I just feel like I can't 'enjoy my life and my children.' There's no time for joy. Electric bills need to be paid, water bills require my attention, and a sink full of dirty dishes wait to be washed so that I can cook dinner and make yet another mess that there is no one I can look at and say 'your turn.'