Another example of corruption at the FL Dept of Revenue

This oughtta be good... now it's not a secret that I haven't WANTED to fight for child support since sometime in the spring of 2010, when I remarried and a REAL MAN stepped up and took on the role of 'Daddy.' I tried for 2 1/2 years, only to be completely screwed by Child Support Enforcement and The Department of Revenue when it came to GETTING SUPPORT when I NEEDED it.

They came up with more runarounds and rigamorole than any politician could manage.

But when I remarried, I had a husband, my kids had a father, and we didn't NEED it, and after the Hell that the "Genetic Template" put me through with refusing to help for 2.5 years (with the exectpion of the couple of months he sent money as long as I submitted to his BLACKMAIL and sent my kids to his mother's house for weekends... that stopped when the psycho stalker drug addict brother came home from Iraq and "Grandma" insisted on allowing him to be around my kids against my very firmy directive NOT TO) I just wanted him OUT of our lives.

I closed my case with the DOR.

But when my husband lost his job, we had to relocate and both of us needed to find new jobs to get back on our feet and for that we needed daycare, which we needed state assistance to get.

And which also forced us to re-open our case with CSE and the DOR.

I was quite explicit with the DOR that I DID NOT WANT to pursue child support. I explained to them that my husband is their Dad, and that he wanted to adopt the boys. I explained that right now, 'the genetic template' has made no move for custody or visitation, because he won't pay to file the action for paternity first. I know that he knows the DOR will do that part... and that saves him a lot of money.

Now get this.. these idiots SAY that they 'front the money' for it, but he has to pay it back.

Now come on, we all know that any monies will get added to the balance he owes THEM... after all the DOR collects 90% of the child support AWARD as their 'adminstrative fees' and the custodial parents don't end up with anything near what it takes to RAISE the kids... and we all know that he won't pay and that no one will do a damn thing about it. Deadbeat Dads don't get prosecuted and this one has the US Army to hide behind too... with all their secret little 'SCRA's' and other 'documents' that allow men to avoid RESPONSIBILITY!

He'll never pay a dime, for the paternity action, or for the support or back support to anyone.. not me, not them, and he not only won't suffer any CONSEQUENCES for that... he'll get REWARDED...

How?

Because our JOKE of a 'legal system' won't look at the fact that he:

Left us HOMELESS... in a house with no electricity, ( we needed $2,500 to turn the power on and I had NO MONEY, and I was PREGNANT, and there were no jobs, but even if there were, no one was going to hire a pregnant woman so I had no way to come up with the money)

Knew our choices were a shelter (he called me a 'piece of shit' when I said this) or a house with no running water, no heat, and mold, and no money to fix any of those things.

Ran over my feet with a car

Screamed at me and called me "Fucking Bitch" in front of my son

Terrorized me

Refused to support his kids. He COULD have worked day labor until he went to boot camp to make sure the kids ATE... but no, he said that he was going to boot camp in four months so he wasn't getting a job, and that he wouldn't do a damn thing to help support the kids until then.

Knew his brother was stalking me on the Internet, trying to interfere with my ability to make a living... following me around the web, outing pen names, and calling my house in the middle of the night, stoned out of his mind, slurring... and he did NOTHING about it.

The courts won't even consider all these things... they'll say... "oh good. The state paid for a paternity test, we can prove a genetic link."

And now, with someone else having picked up the tab for paternity, this 'sperm seller' (remember he's no 'donor'. He didn't 'donate' I paid DEARLY for those little swimmers) PROOF of a DNA LINK... he can file for custody, visitation...

And our IDIOTIC legal system can say "well, there's a genetic link. he gets to see the kids."

And to add insult to injury... the law treats child support and custody/visitation as two separate things. One has nothing to do with the other.

So we know, that even with the judgment, he won't pay. And we know that he'll be allowed to get away with it (just look at how many women post about HOW they can't get this state to ARREST these deadbead dads for this CRIME).... and yet... he'll still be allowed to SEE THE KIDS.... setting the example of "it's ok to be a scumbag, an abuser, and a deadbeat dad... look, it's gotta be ok, cause the courts still say that I get to see you, so it can't be a bad thing.)

Thank you America for being so fucking STUPID.

So now here we are...I have told the DOR that I don't WANT to go after this man. I'm finally away from him, he doesn't know my phone number, or where I live. I've had NO COMMUNICATION with him in over a year and a half and my family is HAPPY.

But they force me, and so yesterday was the hearing for the motion to establish paternity.

I was told I had to be there so I went, but when I got there, I was told I didn't have to stay, so I left.

Now remember, I have no attorney. I'm not ALLOWED to have an attorney.... I HAVE TO ACCEPT THE DOR... the attorney is THEIRS.. he advises THEM, I'm not allowed to talk to HIM and the DOR is not allowed to give ME 'legal advice.' So I really don't know what the Hell my rights even are, because as I said "I'm not ALLOWED to have an attorney. I HAVE to have the DOR's attorney represent THEM... because after all, they get 90% of the child support money.... so this case is about THEIR 'interests'... NOT MY KIDS!

Ain't that just loverly?

Now I didn't see him there either, so I don't know what's going on, and that's when I was told I didn't have to stay.

So I left and today, I get a call from Kay Howell at the DOR. She tells me that yesterday, they ordered the DNA testing, and that in a few weeks I would notified of when my appointment to bring the kids in is.

Well, here's the thing.

Thinking back, I did know my husband back when I met 'sperm seller' and we had been dating... so I guess technically, maybe, it's POSSIBLE that the kids COULD be his, right?

In fact, from what I have been told, since no father was NAMED on the kids birth certificates (because of an archaic law dating back to the 1800's, I wasn't allowed to put any name but the HUSBAND's on it, and I was still married to my first husband although we'd been separated for almost 2 years when my first child was born) once I disestablished his paternity, I could name any man I chose or any man willing to SIGN the birth certificate could sign it.

But because the morons at CSE now had a 'sworn statement' from me saying that 'sperm seller' was the father, I didn't know how that would affect my current husband's ability to just sign the damn thing and declare himself "LEGAL FATHER."

So I asked Kay this, and she gave me some rigamarole that I don't actually believe to be correct, about having to have the COURT establish paternity now... but the conversation once again turned to the fact that I do not want sperm seller in our lives.

And just to drive home my point about his 'personality'.... he wanted the kids, he used money to blackmail me into letting his mother see the kids... yet... he's never WILLINGLY signed their birth certificates (now, he might say here that what Kay Howell said is true there needs to be a court order, etc.. but if you read back through this blog, you can see plenty of evidence that he and his mother accuse me of REFUSING to let him sign their birth certificates... so I'm curious how he would reconcile that one if any of you, my dear readers, ever called him out on that 'conflicting evidence.)

So he's REFUSED to just cooperate in making himself the 'legal father.' Because we all know (if you read back through this blog) that once my divorce from my 1st husband was final, I BEGGED him to MAKE IT LEGAL before he went to WAR and he REFUSED (I believe his verbatim answer when asked to make it legal was "Fuck You You fucking bitch.)

And yesterday, he had an attorney there, and they requested DNA testing.... now if he REALLY wanted to actually CLAIM his kids, why not just say "I know their mine, let's get on with this."

Well, because he's a douchebage, we all know that, and because it stalls for more time, and more than likely, by the time anything can be done after that... he'll find some other US ARMY 'act' he can hide behind....

BUT... if he doesn't, and the paternity does get established at no cost to him, now it's not a whole lot of money to pay the lawyer to file for the 'custody or visitation'.

So he files, and these idiots give it to him because hey... his sociopathich personality doesn't mean jack... there's a genetic link.... he can now be a bad influence on the next generation and do his part to contribute to a whole new race of 'deadbeat dads' who will keep the DOR nice and busy with their fat paychecks.

So as I'm telling Kay Howell all this and why I am AFRAID of having this man in our lives, and so forth... do you know what she says to me?

"Well, have you ever filed for an exemption?"

I CAN REQUEST TO GET AN EXEMPTION FROM HAVING TO COOPERATE WITH CHILD SUPPORT ENFORCEMENT?

You've known for OVER A YEAR that I DON'T WANT child support from this man.... why didn'y you ever tell me this before?

Her answer: Well DCF is supposed to tell you this.

REALLY? Well, when I told you MONTHS ago that I didn't want to file, you never asked me THEN if I filed for this 'exemption'..... so how the Hell could you 'assume' I knew about it?

Don't you think if I did, I would have done it, considering that I was telling you how much I do not WANT this man in mine or my kids lives?

Seriously, this woman thinks I don't see through her circular statements, but I do. And frankly, I'm fed up with the DOR.

And the whole 'family court system.' It's a joke.

He left us, and when we NEEDED support we were told, "oh, too bad, your needs don't fit our criteria.... jump through hoops for a few years, while trying to support your kids yourself, just so we can OWN your case and get all the money!' ARGGG.....

She actually said to me "beware, if you close your state assistance and you ever need it again in the next 15 years, we'll have to start all over with this..."

DUH! Do you think that thought hasn't crossed my mind as a way to KEEP stalling YOU....

But now that I know about this 'exemption'... well, it may not have to come to that, but because she 'CONVIENTLY' waited until today to tell me about it... because now there is a COURT ORDER to do the DNA, so even if DOR withdraws the case, the court COULD still say "well, we already ordered the DNA test, so we're still going to have that done."

Like I don't know now, WHY this 'exemption' option was kept from me for so long.

She also said to me: "We've gone through a lot in these past three years."

I said "No, YOU haven't. I have. All the DOR has done is go... "oh good..loophole, we don't have to do anything."

And she had the NERVE to tell me how much money THEY had 'invested' in the case.... SERIOUSLY? Figure $500 a month in child support for 3.5 years... (4 by the time all is said and done).... That's $24,000 of MY KIDS MONEY!

So, here's the current status:

DNA test has been ordered, and I'm looking for a way out. I DON'T WANT THIS MAN IN MY KIDS LIVES! The only purpose he serves on the planet is to be used as a 'bad example.'

I can file for the exemption and if granted, keep state assistance without having to deal with HIM and this child support crap.

Close out state assistance, and DOR withdraws their case.

In either of the last two scenarios, however, the courts COULD still decide to force me to follow through with the DNA testing because the ORDER is already standing....

It sure would have been nice if I could have had a LAWYER tell me my right for this exemption before we got here, so that we could have avoided the order.

But that's why DCF and and CSE and DOR don't tell you about your 'options' and why they KEEP you from having a LAWYER.... so when they 'omit information' you have no idea until it's too late and they've already screwed you six ways from Sunday.

BALLS! NERVE! UNBELIEVABLE!

So the 'genetic template' showed up on December 14, 1 day before the child support payment was due, with no advance notice that he would be home on leave, and demanded the children or he would not pay the child support. Although I was pissed that he is still allowed to treat us this way, at his beck and call, I allowed the children to go. I took them to meet him, and video recorded the entire meeting, where we discussed his and his family's behavior and I made it crystal clear that if I had any bullshit calls from the Sheriff's Office about me being 'suicidal' that I was going to take the kids back.

Lo and behold, the 2nd night he has the boys, the deputies are knocking on my door at 8pm. The claim? "She is very depressed. She's on pills and she has a 9mm in the house and is threatening to kill herself."

#1: My significant other is an EMT! If I was on 'pills', I think he would know.
#2: The 'gun' was stolen in October and I have the police report and the name of the deputy who took it to prove it.
#3: His brother's status message back in November specifically stated: "The state investigator will have a nice Christmas gift for her."

Interestingly enough, although the Sheriff's Office and Child Protective Services have determined that this is all obvious harassment, they still are doing nothing to prosecute these idiots or put a stop to all this nonsense.

Mike's latest lie: When I left there was lights and water in that house. Everything was on and running. (I have video that PROVES he said this.) You can see it here:


These are the facts:

In October of 2007, Mike, our son, the unborn child I was carrying, and myself, lived in a house. His brother and sister in law were also staying with us and the electric was on in Mike's name.

Because I owed a previous bill, the power company would not allow the power to stay on even though it was in a new name and at the end of October, they cut the power to the house. They didn't boot the meter correctly and so we had 'leakage.' The house was in a rolling brownout. We had some power to some parts of the house. Enough for maybe a lamp or two and a tv. Not nearly enough to power the stove, hot water heat or the central heat and air.

He left knowing this and knowing that the power company would correct the problem and we would have no power at all.

For the next two years, he refused to pay 'child support.' Yes, he did give me 'some' money ' here and there' as is accounted for in this blog, but he refused to sign the acknowledgement of paternity to make it 'legal.'

The state of Floridal, child support enforcement and the Department of Revenue (who oversee child support enforcement) in their infinite STUPIDITY, were not doing anything to have him served with a paternity suit.

I was still married to Leo.
He was considered the 'legal father' and CSE would hear absolutely nothing of the biological father until that matter was resolved either by a DNA test or with divorce papers that exclude the children from the marriage.
I told them I we would be getting our divorce as soon as possilbe, BUT
At that time, was NOT told that they would use that as an excuse not to serve him, and I was also not told that the papers had to exclude him as both the biological and legal father.
After a year, when I brought them the divorce papers, and was told that the wording wasn't good enough, I asked two questions.
#1: "Why didn't you tell me what wording you wanted?"
The answer: We can't give you legal advice. (I'd like to know what they thought they were doing when they told me to get the divorce.)
#2: "Why have you not just served my ex-husband, let him take the DNA test and be done with it so that we can move on to going after the real father?"
The answer: "Well, if we 'heard' that you 'might' be getting a divorce, then we won't do anything. We'll just wait."
Heard I 'might' be getting a divorce? They ADVISED me to get the divorce.

Finally, after 18 months of runaround from these incompetent bureaucrats, and phone calls to the executive honchos at the Department of Revenue, the biological father was served. And then he invoked the SCRA. The "Servicemen's Civil Relief Act." The outdated Act from 1949 that protects soldiers and sailors from paternity tests. And off to Iraq, Mike went.

In August of 2009, he offered me $150.00 a week in child support on the condition that I let his mother see the boys. I let her see them, and she did truly seem to be trying to have a relationship with me and them.

Sadly, it was all a lie. An act.

Because she came to visit to get my address, and as soon as Mike was home, and he and or his brother, made their latest falsfied police report she gave them the address (had it wrong though, but my car isn't exactly 'inconspicuous'- little red Mercedes is a bit flashy)

His biggest mistake was making the accusation about me saying I was suicidal and that I had a gun in the house and was threatening to kill myself.

Since the gun was stolen two months ago, I certainly wouldn't have made such a threat. If they lied about that, it would stand to reason, to any REASONABLE person,that the rest was a LIE too.

The biggest problem with these people, is that they have no capacity for REASON.

It has taken two years, but finally, someone came along who wants to be husband to me and father to the two most wonderful boys on the planet and Mike is now losing control. He has two options right now and he doesn't want to do either one.

His first, he can step up, acknowledge paternity, and have to deal with supporting his kids and paying 1/3 of his income, even when he gets home from Iraq and doesn't have a job.

The second, give up all rights to the kids.

Either way, he cannot control me with threats to withhold child support anymore. And when control freaks lose control, they get sloppy. And they make mistakes. They made a HUGE mistake when they told the SO that I was threatening to kill myself with a gun that (they didn't know) was stolen 2 months before they made the call. Now the SO knows they are LIARS and it will all come crumbling down very soon.

Victory is but a moment away. Finally!

Watch The Video Below

*He admits that he went scuba diving before he even called to see his kids.

*He claims that there was "lights" and running water in the house the day he walked out on us.
[A week earlier, when the electric company cut the power, he called and told them that our house was like a rolling brown out. They told us that their tech had booted the meter wrong and we were getting 'leakage.' He knew it was only a matter of time before they corrected the problem.]

*Watch how his mother constantly interrupts so that the actual discussion can never be resolved.



http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/3131382

My Forgotten Father

Today is November 15, 2009 and on Nov 13, it was exactly two years since my boys' Daddy deserted us, leaving us homeless and destitute. I had a roommate for a long time, but for the past month or so, it has just been the boys and me. Last night, a friend decided to tell me how well she thought I was doing on my own. I believe she is trying to 'give' me strength by telling me how strong I am. The power of suggestion, after all, is very strong and I know she wants me to be strong.
I really appreciate how supportive my friend is trying to be, but I pretend that all is fine and I put on a happy face for my kids, even though, inside, I feel empty. I cannot even begin to describe what this is like. I have no joy, as much as I like to act like I do for my kids sake, I can't help but wonder if they don't 'feel' my emptiness. As a child of divorce, I know the hurt and confusion that a child experiences when there is an absent parent.
This is how I felt about my absentee father.

Mom always seemed overwhelmed at the amount of attention I needed, as I now feel overwhelmed by the amount of attention my kids needed. You had no right to abandon me to that life, and my kids Dad no right to do it to our kids either.

I knew when you asked for a paternity test when Mom took you to court for child support. I hate you for playing the "I'm not your child game" just to avoid supporting me while to my face you told me how much you loved me and that my mother wasn't a 'fit' mother. She may not have been a 'fit' mother, but she was a damn sigth better than you. At least she was there.

The way you treated her, the things you did to her, left scars on her soul. I had to live with the repercussion of how your atrocious behavior affected her. She was closed off, cold, distant, distrustful, secretive. I felt like a burden, a dissappointment an intrusion. I know now that she was overwhelmed being a single mother, and I see myself turning into that same person. Although I know I don't want to be that person, the forces of nature are what they are and my emotions are no different than any other mother's emotions when struggling to raise kids alone. You cannot fight Mother Nature and win.


I did without a lot of things. Even when you paid your measly child support, it made nary a dent in the cost of raising me. I always felt like an outsider to my friends because my 'parent' had a single income, doubly restricted by the fact that she was also the only one available to 'raise' me and take time off work for doctors, dentist, sick days, etc, making a 'career' for her nearly impossible. she was stuck in menial jobs that worked around my schedule and this stretched our budget even further.

Our society is not set up to allow one person to raise a child alone. You thought you had no responsibiltiy to me, and I hate you for it. You are gone now, but your crimes live on, and my children suffer the same fate I did.

To my kids dad: This is how your kids will feel too. None of your "I love you, buddy" ies, will cover what you did when you abandoned them. They are smart, they will know the things you've said and the things you've done. You can't 'fake' your heart with words. Your actions speak volumes. They will not accept your 'excuses.' Neither will I, and neither should anyone have to.

She can't see the forest because there are too many trees in the way

In a previous post, I talked about the woman I took in who wound up causing me 10 days of grief and other issues I am still dealing with today. I took her in because she was the 'friend' of the roommate I already had, who was a major cause of the problems with the new one. You see, for over a year, roommate #1, lived with me and refused to work. We would get writing jobs online, and getting her to do them was like pulling teeth. She wound up doing a couple, here and there, but for the most part, she spent her time on wannabe detective forums, twitter and Facebook.

When we couldn't pay our electric bill last month, we rented a motel room and for $200 a week, had all the utilities and Internet access to do our job.

We talked about moving to another area and even looked at a few houses, but the fact is, my house is in foreclosure. Right now, I'm living rent free and we're both about to start a new job that will pay each of us almost $500 a week and can be done from home. If we move, we'll be adding another $1,000 a month onto our BILLS, and if we STAY, we'll save $1,000 a month. And in 3-4 months, have not only the money to move, but be established in the job long enough to know we're secure and that our paychecks are secure too.

Although, economically, this makes the most sense, she refuses to respond to LOGIC and simply DEMANDS that she will not move back into MY house.

Look, the fact is, the woman is 50 years old. Getting a 'job' at her age is going to be hard to do. Add to that that she has a piss poor demeanor that comes across in her body language and in the way she talks, and no one is going to hire her.

Every time things got tight with the bills, I would remind her that we needed to buckle down and get some work done. God forbid, however, that I interrupt her twittering and Facebook time to remind her we have deadlines. If I do that, I'm trying to 'control' her. She will say she doesn't want to do 'this kind of work' yet will do nothing else to earn an income either.

Now, after two years of being a struggling single mom, barely keeping the bills paid from freelance work on the Internet, the Deadbeat Dad is finally paying child support, and I am going to have a steady job, that I can work at home, with a steady PAYCHECK, and she wants to throw away the one last opportunity we have to bank some cash so that we will have a cushion and never have to be in this position again, over a couple more months of living in a house where we don't have to pay rent.

And as an added thought: She has had no problem sticking me with 100% of the BILLS of MY house with NO RENT, and now, I'm supposed to risk getting stuck with another $1,000 a month in rent that she may stick me with. I suppose she thinks that since we'll be 'renting' from a 'landlord' she shouldn't have to pay him or her rent either, because after all, it's THEIR house.

GRRR.... I tried to explain it 'logically' but all I get in response to 'logic' is "I'm not going back to that house. I'm NOT. I would rather go live on the streets than go back to YOUR house."